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How to start being yourself?

Updated: Jul 18, 2021

On this day, our celebration of independence.

On this day, we commemorate the passage of the Declaration of Independence and independence from Great Britain.

I ask you...

What do YOU need and want to claim your personal independence from?

Do you feel like there things that hold you back from being true to yourself?

Do you have limiting beliefs that stall your growth?

In life, we have a tendency to get bogged down with all of the "stuff."

It may be stories that we have told ourselves long enough; they became our truth.

Or, perhaps they are the beliefs of others that we decided to own as our own.

During my journey of healing, I realized I had a lot of shit to let go of. I honestly was a bit disappointed in myself for a while when I realized how much stuff I took on from other people's opinions over the decades that was never even mine to own. But, the more I keep going, the easier it continues to get as I step into my strengths and define who I want to be.

Much like I would assert our forefathers did on the day when they wrote the Declaration of Independence, defining things brings clarity!

At times it has been messy, then fantastic, and crazy, then frustrating, and every other emotion on the spectrum you can imagine in between. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I felt like I was on the edge with nowhere else to go. And, although at times it could take a moment, I would always find a way to find a "bridge," metaphorically speaking, of course, and keep going.

Looking back on my journey today while thinking about the significance of this date in our history, I am grateful for all of the independence I've built for myself in this eight-year journey of healing.

Defining what I want and removing the roadblocks has given me so many things, but mostly, it’s provided me Freedom and clarity for what I want now and in the future! As we grow, evolve, and change, so do the things that we want.

It’s also interesting to me how the longer I proceed on this journey, the more that comes to the surface, almost as though it wasn't ready before. As you are working on this journey yourself, I invite you to BE KIND to yourself and know everything shows up exactly when it was meant.

Are you ready to "Claim your Independence?"

Try this to get started:

Take an honest look!

  • Brain dump everything that shows up for you when you are yourself this question.

  • What is it that you feel is weighing you down?

  • If you hear yourself saying, “I Don’t know?”

  • Tell yourself, “Yes, you do.” Then close your eyes and ask again, “What is weighing me down right now?

  • Keep asking these questions until there is no more there for you.

Take accountability

  • Unfortunately, we can be quick to blame other people, places, situations, etc. this gives away your power, my friends. But, I believe it also holds us back from actually letting go and allowing growth to happen.

  • What have you been blaming on other people or situations?

  • What responsibility can you take in the situations?

  • If you wanted to, what control do you have in the matter, and what can you do to change your circumstances?

  • Aside from rare circumstances, YOU have the choice to decide what to say and do; it is often more so the discomfort that comes from hard decisions, not the other person or circumstances.

Start getting comfortable with the discomfort.

  • Clearing the roadblocks, tough conversations, etc., may not feel good right away, especially if there are things you have been avoiding for too long.

  • Answer this question, “What good is going to come from this?” If you find yourself answering, “I don’t know.” Follow the same steps described in #1.

Time for another brain dump!

  • Ask yourself this question, “What are all of the things you could do if you wanted to move forward?

  • If you wanted to, what is ONE easy step you could take to start moving forward?

How will you reward yourself for the work you are doing?

  • We all have 'things and stuff' to let go of or work on. But, when you take a step back and look at it, there is clarity and the ability to truly focus.

I can tell you even after all the years I have been in this amazing mess of growth, more things keep showing up to work through and strengthen, some that are bigger than others. Today is a perfect reflection of the most recent one that has been clear to me and my newest to heal (lots more to come on this).

It’s all day by day, my friends.

Take the time for yourself!!

Jen Zahari

Empowerment and Dream Coach, Energy worker, and ThetaHealing Practitioner

Strong Foundations Coaching & Consulting, LLC


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