I may be dating myself a bit on this one, but I’m a girl who grew up learning how to drive on a manual engine.
If they were as readily available, I would still prefer them. Having the ability to shift when I wanted to, downshifting when I needed more power, and having a bit of a racecar feeling sure helped my love of them.
For those unfamiliar, when you drive a stick shift, you manually change gears. When doing this, the timing needs to be right between the Clutch (foot petal) and Stick shift (located in the middle console).
If the timing is off…it can get a bit jerky and not as smooth in the transition between gears.
If you get stuck in between gears, it can make a very uncomfortable grinding noise.
Or, you might completely stall out and need to restart the car.
And, you better be ready if you are going up a hill from a stopped position, so you don’t roll backward.
And, let’s not even get into the fact that you didn’t want people to see you stall out (or maybe that was just me😊
Bottom line, you don’t want to hang out in between gears for too long because the outcome isn’t
Here’s the question, how many times in life are you hanging out in that in between?
Perhaps it’s the ‘in between’ about your job. One week you are ready to quit and find something new, your boss is a jerk, there is no balance, etc. The following week you feel like you have the best job ever, and you couldn’t imagine leaving.
Or, maybe for you, it’s in your relationship. You are reminded of how in love you are one minute, you couldn’t imagine life without them, having fun together, communicating well, etc. Yet, the next minute when something goes wrong, or you get frustrated, you are ready to throw in the towel.
Or whatever else that thing may be for you.
Here is the thing, that in between, back and forth is not helping you, the people around you, or your health!
When they have one foot in and one foot out, I often tell my clients to pick a side, choose a gear, and decide if you are in or out.
When you are all in on something, you tend to give different energy and effort towards it.
Conversely, when you are not all the way in, it can and often does impact your performance, communication, and energy level towards it.
And, even after you choose a side and go all in on that thing, if it doesn’t work out, at least you will be able to look back and honestly reflect that you gave it your all!
Don’t get me wrong, I know big decisions can be hard to make. Here are a few things to try to help:
Weigh the pros and cons of each
What would you tell someone else in your situation?
Take yourself out of the situation for a moment and assess what you want big picture in that area of life. Once you do that, compare where you are at, is the situation you are in bringing. Are you closer to your big picture? Are you OK compromising in whatever area(s) there are missing?
Be sure to come at the decision from a balanced emotional state.
Get unbiased outside feedback to help walk it through.they
Is there other information that could help your choice?
Looking at each potential choice, how will it impact your life? Once you have that decide if those are things you are OK with.
Remove the discomfort of the “in between gears” and pick a side.
Looking for support on the journey, let's talk; schedule a time with me at https://calendly.com/jenzahari/30min