Voice shaking, body trembling, chest tightening, sweat dripping down your back with fear. Every part of your physiology telling you to quit, yet that little voice deep down, screaming at you in one way or another, "keep going, you got this," it says.
That little voice called confidence!
Ah, confidence, that little thing that pushes you when you're not really sure if you can keep going.
That little voice in the back of your head that roots you on internally when no ones else does.
And, definitely, the most important voice that needs to be cheering you on, YOU, your own, internal confidence!
Looking back, I can say this thing called confidence pushed me through so many moments in life when I was ready to throw in the towel. For me, most of them centered around some form of public speaking. But, admittedly, until I resolved the underlying limiting beliefs behind it, when it came to showing up on video, fear won, in many cases, for years.
When it comes to building confidence or overcoming fear, what works for one person may be different than what works for someone else.
The most important thing is that you get started and keep going when things get hard!
Figure out what works best for you to build that muscle of confidence and work to quiet the inner critic and/or fear day by day.
Be Kind and patient with yourself in this process. It's a journey, not a destination!
Take care of your physical health
I am not sure about all of you, but it certainly impacts my confidence level when I feel sluggish. When we feel good physically, it often can and does impact confidence. This can be everything from physical activity to how you fuel your body (what you eat).
Now I am not saying you need to go to the gym five days a week or cut out that occasional pizza night. But, including more physical movement and an overall healthy food regime can help physical health and, in turn, the emotional benefits of confidence.
Our bodies are made up of 60% water. When we are depleted, it can impact us physically, mentally, and emotionally. Benefits of good hydration are long documented and include:
Improving mental health
Increasing strength and stamina
Cognition,concentration and focus
Muscle and joint performance
Drink up, my friends, when we feel good, it's easier to build confidence!
Get adequate sleep
There are links between good sleep and self-esteem and confidence. A large sample study completed by the National Library of Medicine (https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23055029/) revealed that people with insomnia symptoms scored lower in optimism and self-esteem.
Sleep is more than simply the amount of sleep. For tips on a better night sleep see https://www.jenzahari.com/post/six-tips-to-a-better-night-sleep
Get crystal clear on exactly what it is you want
If you don't know what you want, how are you going to get there? Take the time to get clear on what you want all the way down to the slightest detail and how it's going to make you feel.
Focus on what you do want, not what you don't
Have you ever found yourself asking questions such as, "why can't I be more confident?" or perhaps, "why am I so nervous?"
Our brains are fine-tuned machines, and they are programmed to answer the questions we ask. Now that said, look at the questions I mentioned above. Those questions will not help guide you to an answer, rather, they will tell you all of the reasons why you are nervous or are not confident. Instead, try questions that your brain will be instructed to tell you the answer, such as, "How can I be more confident in the area of....?"
I love "how can I" and "what can I do to" type questions to help stimulate the brain.
Celebrate every single win along the way, big or small
Sing it out, dance it out, call a friend. Whatever works best for you to lock in that win! Celebrating feels good mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. When you celebrate in an empowered way that your brain and body are going to enjoy, you will naturally want more of it.
Take small steps
On the road to growth, it can be easy to get caught up in the big picture of things and all of what it may take to get there. Take some time to break down all of the small steps you can take to get to the level of confidence you want. Then start chipping away at that.
If you are on the road to more confidence in your health, perhaps it's walking for one block a day for a week, then increasing it to four blocks, then perhaps a mile. Before you know it, you will be running that marathon!
Again, celebrating those wins along each step!
Find an "encouragement" buddy
Now, I am a huge proponent of self-love and acceptance, but let's face it, we all love an "at a boy/girl" at times. Find and build a team of people around you who will cheer you on. This can come in a number of different areas from a friend group, mastermind, coach, friends, family, etc.
It's also important to evaluate your current network. Are they building you up or bringing you down? More to come on this one in a future post. In the meantime, it's all about communication, both with yourself and those around you.
YOU are never alone in this journey, need help, message me!
Find an accountability partner
I can't say enough good things about the value of someone who is walking a similar path or working towards a similar goal. There is a lot to be said for sharing experiences and struggles.
Often we are more apt to be accountable to others than we are to ourselves.
When building anything, especially confidence, consistency is key!!
Identify those small goals we talked about earlier then even if it's seven minutes a day of working out as you're working to gain physical confidence or recording yourself with your phone as you are building the muscle of confidence on video or something else altogether, that small, consistent habit will help build the bigger muscle of confidence.
You wouldn't go to the gym once a month and expect to have a perfect muscle build; stop working on the muscle of confidence once a month and wondering why you are not getting results!
Identify what patterns or habits you have; positive or negative
We all have patterns that we tend to go to when things get tough. Some may be more empowering than others. What are your patterns? Do you avoid the hard things? Do you deflect? Perhaps you look for "reasons" why you can't do it.
Once you have identified the patterns you tend to gravitate towards, ask yourself the questions, "What is something I could do if I wanted to break this pattern (for those you want to change)?" Once you have made a list using this question, start taking action on just one thing to build a better habit!
Do more things that increase "happy hormones"
Ah, the "feel-good chemicals" our brain produces. The fact is when we are happier; it's easier to create more confidence. There are five chemicals our brain naturally produces that support a positive state, each in different ways.
The fabulous five chemicals I am referring to today are Gaba, Endorphins, Dopamine, Oxytocin, and Serotonin.
Some of the things you can do to naturally increase these include (varies by chemical):
Eat more healthy protein
Get moving (physical activity)
Get good sleep
Listen to music
Get out in the sunlight
Create, draw, write, etc.
I'll be delving more into each of these in next week's blog; stay tuned!
Identify your limiting beliefs/what stories you tell yourself about why you 'can't' do something and work on them
You may have started unlocking these earlier when we talked about habits. It's time to dig deeper and get more specific. The stories of the past can often hold us back from creating new experiences in the present if we let them.
Take a look at the stories you tell yourself or others about why you "can't" do something. Or perhaps you hear yourself say, "I am this way because...," The fact is, it's all your choice. If you want to be a certain way or want to do something, it's time to let go of the past, use it as knowledge, and start building the confidence muscle!
From my perspective, the most impactful way to heal past beliefs is:
Releasing the Cellular Emotional side of the past
Energy Healing to get your body to the calm, peaceful, positive state to be able to receive a more positive message
Creating new habits (action) and, in turn, repatterning your neuropathways
This one can take time, my friends, be kind to yourself.
Limit Social Media
If Social media sparks negative, low self-esteem, comparison, take a break from it until you can get yourself in a place of strong personal self-worth and love!
Unfollow people who spark your lack of confidence
Perhaps certain people spark a sense of doubt in you. Unfollow them if you need to until you are in a strong place of self-confidence and self-love.
The feeling of personal confidence is so worth all of the ups and downs along the way. Start with one step and build from that; you will be glad you did!
Want help on your path to healing? Schedule a call with me today; I'd love to support you! https://calendly.com/jenzahari
Empowerment Coach, Dream Advisor, and ThetaHealing Practitioner
Strong Foundations Coaching & Consulting, LLC
Copyright 2021 @ Jen Zahari
This information is not intended to replace any other care. Please consult with your doctor or general practitioner before starting this or any other program